2012.

Almost a month of 2012 has gone by and I just hate hate HATE IT.

So far I've lost money, scratched my moms car, wrote a really bad exam, fallen down the stairs had to deal with a messy event and other drama here and there. I keep on making silly errors every day, which I really don't mean to. I'm so accident prone and I don't know how to fix it. I try to be ambitious , but can lose that feeling really quickly. Because the million times that I tried in my life, I've ended up failing, so psychologically I'm screwed. I expect failure. Which is a big no no.

One positive-ish thing is that my eczema is getting better, no where near where it should be, but considering how it was in 2010 it's pretty okay. I'm just really really irritated with myself and my life right now.

I kinda don't know how to fix this messyness and the way I'm feeling. Bleh.

I start honours in a week and I'm freaken scared. I've started Japanese which is pretty awesome. I don't exactly what I'm going to do with my Mandarin Chinese and Japanese speaking skills. So it feels somewhat pointless. I'm not exactly a traveller and as a Muslim girl I'm kind of confined to my house. I won't really be allowed to gallivant around the world by myself.

I'm trying to think of a million get-rich-quickly ideas. Not succeeding so much. Most are okay, but not really feasible for me or I don't have the skills to create what I want.

I don't even know why I am blogging. I guess it's the same with a diary. You write and then no one reads it. Unless someone is being curious and finds your diary. But me, I leave it open to the public - not that I have a large fan base or anything, who in the world want to read other peoples emo thoughts?

Sometimes I wish I could read my blog from an outsiders point of view. Just to see how messed up I really am.