Challenging times

My honours year at university ended early November 2012, so since then I have been focusing on getting better. You would think with me doing absolutely nothing it heal. But no. It has not. I have been staying at my family's flat at the beach, because I can be alone (roam naked and let my skin breathe) and the beach air. I don't really go out because I am sore, uncomfortable and look horrible. I especially hate going out in the day time.


Yesterday a friend had a brunch birthday, at 10am!! My vampire tendencies were not happy. I put on 4 alarms between 8 and 9, which I then eventually got out of bed at 9am. My facial eczema really wasn't doing too good that day, you could see the infection on my upper lip and that just made my sad. Instead of going straight to the birthday I went home to put on foundation (I know I know - really bad). For some reason I just felt worse, it seemed to show my eczema and infection more. I  eventually drove to the birthday house and just sat in my car and cried for an hour. I just couldn't get myself to go inside. I hated how I looked and I can't be around people when I look like that. It's not that I care about what they think. I care how I look, I hate being looking like a creature from the underworld around all these nice looking people.


I phoned the birthday boy to come outside so I could at least greet him. He managed to convince me to go inside, this was around 12pm. So late! I sat in the lounge which was away from the party and he sent over people that I was comfortable with. And I made them bring me food :) It was really good, some chicken mushroom pancake thing! Rest of the time there I just spoke to his mom (still avoiding people).


All in all, I didn't completely give up. I was extremely close from driving home and not going in all. I'm glad the opposite happened.

Make me wanna die - The Pretty Reckless

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


I am so stressed that my skin is not getting better that I thought I would try blogging again. Perhaps it is some way of destressing, which could hopefully help. The amount of cash I spent on creams and doctors in the last year is ridiculous.

To some up my eczema year. My skin was doing SO WELL at the beginning of 2012 and then the workload for honours kicked in. It was all downhill from there. 


-Skin started getting bad, then sleeping started getting bad.
-Eventually I turned into an insomniac and everything deteriorated rapidly from there.
-Started Yoga and Acupuncture 
-Fell asleep while driving in traffic and drove into another car (Then I went to see a neuropsychiatrist because I may have actually developed a sleeping problem)
-Went to an integrative medical doctor (Did normal medicine and homepathy). Meant to do a stool to do a stool test, haven't gotten around to that yet. Gross. 
-Passed honours - thankfully
-Threw my phone, which broke. Oops? 
-On hectic prescription meds which don't work and which I don't like but I'm desperate.


Life sucks. I don't get to enjoy the good things. I don't get to do anything. The pain and discomfort is unbearable. I don't get to the be the person I want to be. I'm just a burden. That's all.


Oh I forgot. Happy New Year :)