2:47am

I guess I'll even though my bed is kinda staring at me. I really don't know how my 1hour nap turned into 5 hours...oh well...guess i'll be awake for a while longer.

I hate being awake this time. It's like when all the emoness comes out. I guess cos its late, its quiet and I'm alone up. I'm bound to just sit and think, which I hate doing. Now that I think about it, I never really did this back then. I don't ever just remember thinking, well about important stuff. I know i had emo thoughts 24/7, it just kinda inhibited all other thoughts from crossing my brain. The thoughts I should have been thinking about. Oh well, Life goes on ^^ and everything happens for a reason,right? (really hard to believe sometimes)

It feels like I'm just waiting for something awesome to happen, and i'm getting impatient waiting. But the thing is, something awesome may never happen, what then! Guess I'll keep on praying...

I'm probably not making any sense right now. I mean it is 2:57am. And I still have to do my marketing and be by campus by 10am. Oh yes, and sleep!

I think there is a black stray cat eating my kitties food, shame. Poor kitty.

I feel old. I'm final year. That's so old! Time is going soooo quick. Is it possible to feel that you're not ready for life, even though you living already? Hmm weird, cos I don't think I've ever felt 'ready'. It always feels as if its too much for me, but somehow I always 'manage'.

i need answers!!!!!! signs!!!!! anything!!!

bleh :(

Ooh i know what i'm waiting for. That moment where I realize who I am, and everything just falls into place.Hopefully this moment will come soon, Insha-Allah Wonder how much longer it will be...because this journey definitely ain't a fun one. It's making me stronger though...

peace dawgs
3:26am

12:57 am

Don't even know why I'm up, I'm sooo tired, but I don't want to sleep. Instead I made tea!! Today I bought stationery , I think I'm addicted. I really don't need it , but I just can't resist. lol. This is really sad. But I always try to look at it in a positive way, at least it's not alcohol and drugs, right?

Got so much to do, so little time. Have exactly one week till I'm back at campus . Things are going to get hectic. Which means tons of breakdowns! Just hope I survive them all and get this degree! Then I can relax. Well that's if I don't do honours. I really want to take a year off to do Arabic, sewing course (gay I know, but why should i buy clothes/get people to alter them for me , when I can do it for myself - it seems like a practical skill to learn), work part time and help dad out. This will definitely be more chilled than studying. I just can't decide whether I'm going to do this before honours or afterwards, because I really want a break! My poor body is dying inside.

I realise I never write anything meaningful, like my thoughts on a specific situation or something, its always my crappy emo feelings. How boring of me! Especially when i reread this in a few months time.

I know the situation in France and hijab is quite messed up, sigh@the president. Really stupid, but aren't most things nowadays stupid , like wars, political figures(especially South African ones') and the generally level of stupidity of the new generations.

And so life goes...Better off Ted time

see u
xoxo

:(

Pain... :( Don't think I'm going to make it... :(