Dazed and confused

I detest you right now.

Moving on.

MSA Cake Sale went well on Friday, so that was great!

House filled with people. Not fun. Really not fond of large crowds. Last night before mom leaves early tomorrow on Hajj. Six weeks of no mother.

This song makes me shiver! Probably saw it live when he was here in 1995/1996, but I was too young to remember! Apparently I cried when he performed thriller though.

Really nice Nasheed. Maher Zain is pure awesome.

Stressed!

Sigh...I am so stressed...yesterday I broke down crying at campus...still don't know what was the exact reason I was crying. Was in such a bad state that I couldn't do my presentation. Sat in the workshop anyways and just slept on the desk. That totally sucked.
*googles chronic depression symptoms*

One quiz says I have "severe depression", another "high risk for major depression", another- may be suffering from clinical depression.

Ok I did about four, same outcome! Jeez

Went to the chinese store with Mei and this lady was taking packets of springrolls, she needed 13 packets but took 14 because 13 packets is bad luck. Really now??

So stressed right now, because someone told me and made their status that they not supporting the cake sale on Friday because the mosque its linked is dodgy. I didn't know that, nor did anyone mention it :( Sigh. It made me so upset that he said there are other orphans out there. What about the orphans that this project supports? So selfish. The money is going to the ORPHANS though not the mosque, but I feel stressed anyways. :(

Skin is sucking aswell, have to endure this pain in my face whole day. Not fun.

Let me think of something positive to balance out the negativity. I passed my eco's test,but did worse than MOST of the people. Got 66, which was super low for that test. At least I passed I guess.

Other positive things...um...yeah thats all. Maybe next week will be better *fingers crossed* >.<

oh yes played with cousins huuuuuge baby. omw. Fat babies! so awesome. I def want one!

ok bye

...

I feel so weird and confused! Don't even know what to blog about anymore. I figure the usual emoness must be getting really boring by now. Could being emo be considered a profession? Professional Emo. Probably wouldn't be good for society.


Why has there been so much DRAMA lately? Seriously don't like it and can't handle. I'd also like to be left alone whether I'm wearing my scarf or not. It's not your problem. I don't like wearing scarf cos of my BAD ECZEMA. I am therefore INSECURE and my hair acts as a comfort. Can people stop making me feel worse. Maybe you should try being in my position for once instead of just judging and commenting? Have some respect because you don't know whats going through another persons mind.

I'm so confused about the type of person I want to be and what career I want to follow etc. Extremely confused about EVERYTHING. Except food , I really like food. Finding oneself cannot be forced, but it must really suck if I never achieve that success. I'm really eager to know!!! Will I be a leader or will I be a follower? Will I be in the IS profession or something else? What is my passion? I was so confused in matric about what to study . I figured by the time I'm 1 or 2 years into university it will all become clear to me and it hasn't!!!! This is so horrible. I'm going to graduate next year and still be clueless!! God please help me.

I believe I'm doing okay though considering my intensely crappy year. 3 deaths in 6 months. This year has been the year I've truly experienced death, quite scary and emotionally traumatizing. Its kinda sucking the life out of me. Just one thought about my dad can pretty much make me cry in an instant. My heart is super fragile atm, really hope I don't experience any deaths for a while. Need time to get back on my feet. The beginning of the year I was doing so well, driven and motivated and then I hit a huge obstacle , which was one of many to follow. Lately I've been just sitting alone at campus, trying not to think and doing absolutely nothing. I don't know why though..?

Going to help setup the decor for the ROCSA (Asian committee thingy) formal. Hope my ideas look awesome!!

The last stretch for the year.I can dooooo it. Gotta make lots of dua that I pass everything WELL. Sicking of scraping with just a pass or getting supps!


Sigh now I'm just super angry. So wish I had an on/off button for my emotions!!!!!!!

grrrrrrrr